Dear Baby,
It seems that mom is OK, but at times I do feel down. My mom's passing and everything that we went through in Ecuador appears to be a dream. Can you believe she's been gone for more than a month? It's hard. I feel sad at times and I can't help it. It's worse to keep it inside and not cry that to just let it out... So, for your well-being and mine I have chosen the latter.
My good friend, breathworker Benicio has helped me a lot through this hard times, I know that during the hard moments in Ecuador he was praying for us. And we recently had a Breathwork session with him and it was so liberating to be able to say what I had to say and not hear bullshit (but well-meaning) advice of how to feel better. Everyone has some kind of advice to give me and you know what I have realized... I need no advice, what I need is for people to listen in silent.
No one knows what I have been through. It was tough (and still is).
I read yesterday from someone who recently lost their grandmother that they wish heaven had a phone... I wish so too.
I miss my mom a lot. Especially now cause I wish I could share these amazing moments with her. But at the same time I look at everything on the positive side and know that all I need right now is your Dad: Reuben.
We keep telling you this sadness has nothing to do with you and keep reminding you you are innocent, perfect and safe.
I love you,
Mom.
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